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Negima: Lost Magic is a Negima RP, where many adventures can unfold, from travelling the magical world, learning ancient magic and simply travelling with your partners. Explore the vast land, learning all that you can, striving to be the best!
 
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 Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight

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Maxim

Maxim

Male Posts : 10
Join date : 2010-04-18
Age : 30

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PostSubject: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptySun Apr 18, 2010 5:22 pm

Name: Athena Shinryu
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Species: Half-Drake
Blood-type: AB-
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 175 lbs - She's not fat; half-drake muscle is just dense.
Likes: Showing off, sweet food, womanizers—now there's a surprise.
Dislikes: Cowards, drake-haters.

Personality: A hotblooded young girl, Athena cannot resist a challenge once offered, and constantly seeks to improve herself. She can be overconfident or childish in her demeanor, but if one can get past her insane outer shell, she's surprisingly kind and loyal, if not a bit scatterbrained.

Appearance: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight WarriorGirl

Biography/History: Born the daughter of a human and a Dragon Tribe member, Athena was one of those children whom not much is ever expected of them. From the beginning, she wasn't the studious type, skipped out on lessons, and even decided to disgrace her mage heritage by training excessively in the art of swordplay. As a result, her talent with magic dwindled to the point where she could have very well claimed she was human, if not for the interesting side effects of her training...

Class: Chaos Knight - Literal walking tanks. Chaos Knights have physical strength and endurance far surpassing almost any other class, but this strength comes at the cost of speed and magic potential. While they have no more mobility or skill with magic than a typical human, even the youngest of Chaos Knights can lift several hundred pounds and hold it there with ease, and could take a concussive blow from that same weight without a problem. Athena's body is some damn sturdy stuff, and her half-drake blood grants her the perfect physique for her class.

Preferred Elemental Type: Wind

Magic Keyword: Shishisenretsuhas (Lion's Roar Blast)

Spells/Skills:
Chaotic Might - A Chaos Knight's inhuman level of strength can be honed and refined even further, pushing their power to new levels. 250 pounds as an 'effortless lift' point when the Chaos Knight is healthy is just barely meeting requirements. Each time the skill is trained, that limit rises by 50.
Athena's current strength rating: 250

Impact Wave - A sword skill taking advantage of her massive strength, Impact Wave creates an arc of wind around four feet in height, traveling along the ground until it rams the target with tremendous force or melts into the air. Regardless of its length of travel, it reaches its maximum extent in just one second. The wave quickly loses power as it travels, however—the impact is scaled with distance, carrying only half force at maximum range—and it slams: it does not cut.
Maximum Range: 5 feet per 50 pounds force from Chaotic Might


Last edited by Maxim on Tue Apr 20, 2010 12:25 am; edited 3 times in total
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Umibouzu

Umibouzu

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptySun Apr 18, 2010 11:56 pm

FUCKING OVERPOWERED. jk lol. but yah it is kinda overpowered for being like super noob
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TheWill
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TheWill

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyMon Apr 19, 2010 12:35 am

Well, either way, I really like the character history and personality. Good job!

Back to being over-powered, well the first spell is pretty overpowered and will need quite a bit of nerfing.

But the second spell's easily fixed, considering some people can easily take it head on (Bex) or at least dodge it (Rita). Also could you change the maximum strength it goes onto, so instead of reaching maximum strength in 1 second, maybe change it to 5 seconds? Just to make sure if you hit someone at close range with it, they're not crushed to death by it.
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Maxim

Maxim

Male Posts : 10
Join date : 2010-04-18
Age : 30

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyMon Apr 19, 2010 3:35 am

Well, yeah, the first is overkill as a passive/requirement for other techs. I figured that was the case. If I cut the base and retrain boost in half, does that fix things? Any less than ~150, though, and she's getting into normal person territory.

As for Impact Wave, it's not maximum POWER in one second. It's maximum RANGE, and the power goes down as it travels. I originally had it at no power at absolute maximum range, but that's kind of weak.

25 feet in 1 second is roughly 16 MPH. Considering most of us are beyond normal humans, that ought to be easily dodgeable (hell, a normal human could dodge something that slow). If it took five seconds to reach maximum range, we're talking a 3-4 MPH attack. You could outwalk that.


Last edited by Maxim on Mon Apr 19, 2010 3:40 am; edited 1 time in total
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TheWill
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TheWill

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyMon Apr 19, 2010 3:39 am

Hmm, yeah, I'd approve the second move. About the first move though, maybe cutting it in half would still be pretty powerful as a passive, but it's not like it increases your speed, so you'd still have trouble at snipers or ninjas, it's only power, so that's pretty good. We'll have to see what Umi says.
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Umibouzu

Umibouzu

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyMon Apr 19, 2010 4:51 pm

Well physical strength doesnt travel. so i doubt Impact Wave could be a ranged attack, that would be kinda overpowered, the weight lifting its fine. Otherwise Impact Wave would need to get weaker as it traveled...
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Kairu-kyun

Kairu-kyun

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Location : Fayetteville, North Carolina, U.S.A.

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyMon Apr 19, 2010 7:52 pm

Maxim wrote:
As for Impact Wave, it's not maximum POWER in one second. It's maximum RANGE, and the power goes down as it travels. I originally had it at no power at absolute maximum range, but that's kind of weak.

It already does get weaker as it travels :dissapointed: >_>
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Maxim

Maxim

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyMon Apr 19, 2010 7:57 pm

It's less about physical strength traveling and more about the disturbance in the air it causes. You can feel things somewhat if they pass through the air close to you, right? If I were to, say, swing a book (or my hand) right in front of your face but miss on purpose, you'd still feel a bit of wind from the swing. That's what I'm talking about.

I hate to talk back to a mod, but I believe Impact Wave is decently balanced.

Pros:
High force - About the same as being bodyslammed by a sprinter of whatever weight the wave carries in force at the time of impact.
Range - While it's not a massive range, it at least gives her SOMETHING to keep up with the mages and their who knows how distant spellcasting. 15 feet is hardly overpowered.

Neutral:
Speed - Not really a pro or a con. 16 MPH isn't SLOW, but it's far from undodgeable, even for a normal human.

Cons:
Size, location - The wave is four feet high, a single vertical line, and ground-bound. That can be sidestepped, jumped, flown over, and so on. For anyone who's played Fire Emblem 9 or 10, it's like the ranged attack for Ragnell or Alondite.
Weakening - I already stated that it DOES get weaker as it travels. Scaled by distance, though a little help as to what % of its power remains at maximum range would be helpful.
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bex

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyMon Apr 19, 2010 9:02 pm

Ok here's what I suggest
1.Keep 3 abilities
make one as your signature attack,by signature attack I mean one thats moderately powerful and also something your able to perform in any situation.Also more than once(but not a lot) if required.
Make the second ability as both active/passive ability,mine for example is the devils hand.Lets me swing/leap,grab enemies and slam etc,which does medium damage,not too powerful not too weak.
since you and me both arnt agile,keep the third as a weak projectile attack,in case your fighting a mass of weak demons.

2.Get rid of numbers
I dunno about this one,but just my thought,don't put numbers.Chaotic might in itself means your raw power and strength,many if not all are influenced by this (your skills).I use ki,but I don't exactly put levels to them.Its also unlikely that in all situations you'll be able to gather strength worth 250 pounds,if you know what I mean (injured,tired,etc..)

You also have a sturdy armor,which covers you in defensive front.You need to balance between your strength and armor.Even if you lack speed,its not like your opponent will defeat you by outrunning you or anything.

I too have passive abilities,example surging ki through feet for fast sprinting etc,but its not as fast as a ninja or anything.

Also please mention your weakness (like paralysis magic,binding magic etc),since I cannot see any.
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Maxim

Maxim

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyMon Apr 19, 2010 11:27 pm

Alright, here goes.

1) Impact Wave would be her signature, if anything. There's not a lot of other complex moves you can pull off when you're all strength and no speed or magic. Chaotic Might is listed as a passive, though I COULD make it an 'active' skill--ki usage and whatnot if that would be more balanced.

I only chose two techs on purpose.

2) I use numbers to keep MYSELF in check. I'm fully aware that she wouldn't be able to muster that 250 pounds of strength at all times; it's just a figure for when she's healthy, and so that I have something I can work with. I'm OCD about that kind of stuff; it keeps me from godmodding while still using what I have.

3) Weakness isn't a glaring one YET, but it will become more and more appearant as everyone gets stronger, and that is that Athena CANNOT EVER have more speed or magical ability than is possible for a normal human (I.E. not a mage, no Pactio, etc). I have a feeling she's going to be slaughtered when the Shinmeiryuu (sp?) people start flashstepping or the distance classes get their powerful moves.

(Armor won't help if you're getting delimbed at the legs or headshotted. Also, even if she's naturally durable, that's blunt stuff. Sharp stuff is still hella painful if it hits exposed skin.)


Side note: Should I just give up on Athena and try again? I'm having a really tough time balancing this.
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TheWill
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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyMon Apr 19, 2010 11:42 pm

Well since Umi said the first moves find and he 'agrees' the second move is fine as long as it gets weaker as it travels (which it does) and I pretty much agree with the second move is fine.

This is approved until Rose/Umi/Kyle say anything different.

Have fun RP'ing. Cat

Edit: Bex's points aren't really negative ones, more like suggestions. So yeah.
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bex

bex

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PostSubject: Re: Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight   Athena Shinryu | Half-Drake Chaos Knight EmptyTue Apr 20, 2010 1:48 am

Quote :
Side note: Should I just give up on Athena and try again? I'm having a really tough time balancing this.

Lol dont give up on it,its a really unique character.I just wanted to get things clear on the numerical and the armor.Besides their suggestions,you dont need to follow them XD.

I think ill say a yes to the character.Although its been approved already XD.
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