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 Kreydis Arona

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Kreydis

Kreydis

Male Posts : 47
Join date : 2011-12-02
Age : 28
Location : Your Shadow

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PostSubject: Kreydis Arona   Kreydis Arona EmptyFri Dec 02, 2011 10:43 am

Name: Kreydis Arona
Nickname: Whisper
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Height: 5' 10'' (five feet 10 inches
Weight: ~105 Kilo's
Group:N/A
Reputation: 0
Rank: Rank D
Affiliation: Neutral
Blood-type: O

Likes: Bunny rabbits, Most types of pie, Women, Hamburgers <----, Stalking. Appearing randomly in a Odd way.
Dislikes: Males(Excluding children), Hypocritical people. Cowards acting Brave
Fears: Land Sharks, Air sharks, Sharks, Crowds of 10 or more unknown people.
Physical Description: DARK brown hair, Emerald eyes, Lightly tanned all over, Stands somewhat casually but tall and proud, sharp eyes.
Ki or Magic? Ki

Clothing: under shirt, light silk vest, Tight leather gloves (Finger-less) and a Light thin silk scarf. Linen pants (triple layered), Leather boots (brown).
Accessories: a Copper necklace with a rabbit shaped pendant. A Mandolin witch he Carry's with him at all time's
Extra: If one where to see his back they would notice various whip marks, and cuts.
Picture: None at the current time.

Personality
Kreydis has one of those naturally grumpy moods, his lips almost never forming a smile. He tends to be short tempered with people in general. He seems to say things with a bluntness and is often considered cold for this. But this is mostly a very high wall made by him to protect his true feelings of everyone around him. He also secludes himself if he's not being secluded by the people in his current area. A bit of a loner you might say.

Spoiler:

History
As a child at the age of 6 Kreydis' parents were murdered, for their valuables, Kreydis being included. forced between a wall of going with the band of thieves who murdered and tutored his family, or staying in a lonely house waiting for rescue in the middle of the forest, he took the former choice and forced himself to survive with these harsh conditions.

Forced to plunder, murder, and steal at all times just to make a basic living to even get good, or even have shelter, Kreydis slowly closed his heat to all "human" emotions as he states it currently. Around the time of his 8th year of birth Kreydis learned that he had the affinity to use the band of thieve's "magic"[fake in some sense], (still not sure how Ki works here)

At the time of his 9th birthday he had mastered the Basics of how to use their Illusion techniques. a good chunk of them being blade skills, or displacement skills. All of witch have a trick to them. Slowly but surely he began to master the arts of fighting with short swords and dagger's, As well as his affinity for bow's. although less finesse with it then his trusty blades.

a short time after his 10th birthday the band of thieves raided a Mansion, and failed due to the very skilled guards. All of the men were killed without mercy, Kreydis however suffered a harsher fate. He was taken and thrown into a dungeon, Chained to the wall, suffering daily whipping's, beatings, and being forced to confess to his deeds. The sadistic guards playing with his mind day after day.

Two years pass, a Weary broken Kreydis still chained to the wall, Barley living off of the scraps the guards give him. A Young girl named Sasha roughly the same age, finds this boy in "her" Dungeon, a small gasp escaping as she realizes the true cruel nature of her guards. Very soon after, she demands his release, after near hours of arguing the guards finally give way and open the gates and his chains. The boy helpless falls to his face, drained of any true energy he could use to strangle the guards, or escape.

Day's later he Awakes to find him wounds treated from the countless beatings suffered in the cold dark cell, and in a rather comfy yet warm bedroom. Right next to him he sees the girl again, in bewilderment, as she to is in the same bed...
The girl woke soon after and just looked back at Kreydis as all he could do is stare at her. she invited him to eat. Rather slowly he replied yes. From then on, they would never be seen apart, as he became her "knight" in some sorts. every hour spent in the cell was replayed two fold with happiness. learning many skills to aid him in his life if he ever left. Basic first aid, cooking, simple things most people should know.

But on the age of 15 another band of "thieve's" attacked, this time getting past the surprised guards . Pillaging and destroying everything in the manor, Kreydis pulled Sasha as far as he could and then some to get away from them, knowing full well what might happen. As he finally thought they were safe to rest for the night, escaping miles upon miles away from the mansion, he was deathly wrong.

two hours into their rest he found himself held into the ground as he helplessly watched the thieves stabbed his beloved in the gut as she runs in vain... no more he thought repeatedly. I'll wake up in the cell, this has all just been a long dream, he thought. his mind had finally reached it's limit and shattered. At that moment, time stopped around him, the arms holding him down felt like feather's to an elephant.

Ten strong fighters falling in an instant to this boy, no not a boy, Daemon if anything else could be said about him currently. he blades sliced through the air, leather, flesh and bone like warm butter. His footsteps faster than lightning it seemed. After the carnage, he looked in Sasha's eye's, Barley enough time to say anything. the words that escaped her mouth, "Keep... on...Living... I... love you... K-k-kre..." echo though his head at all times. "I never.... got to tell you..." said with a tear filled face Kreydis responds. On her neck was her favorite scarf, it was white, but now stained blood red.

a day later in a town not to far from the carnage the towns' people gape in horror as this boy carry's his maiden alone, to a church of some sorts. Even the Priests and Clerics in the building can not help but to be shocked at this. Kreydis walks up to a white marble altar, laying her corpse on it, and setting a few pouches of money on the floor next to the altar he walks off, with no words left behind.

No history is recorded of the last two years of his life, until now.
(did I mention the girl had a few caged bunny's they spent a lot of their time at? no. well I just did.)
Class: Phantom Walker

Weaponry/Equipment
Three short swords, two daggers, Various spots to Conceal weapons if need be. and Throwing knives around 7 A few bottles of poison.

Stats – 45
Strength: 10
Accuracy: 10
Endurance: 8
Speed:11
Intelligence:6

Stat Points Earned: 0/0
Jewels Earned: 500,000

Sources:

Skills & Disciplines:
Weapon Knowledge - Extensive knowledge of his weapons has given him a better understanding of how to use them
Sword Fighting - After spending time using swords, Kreydis has gained a better understanding of how to use them. He prefers to use curved swords.
Bow Training - Kreydis has spent time learning how to use bows and crossbows, making it easier to use them
Basic First Aid - Kreydis has basic first aid knowledge, making it easier for him to treat wounds
Poison Making - Kreydis is able to make poisons, this also allows him to identify poisons from natural sources and unnatural more easily.
Element: Wind

Magic Name: Phantom's Walk
Magic Type: It's kinda a bit of everything. but Mostly Utility-offence I guess?
TP/KP Earned: 0/0
Magic Description: Ki wise, it's basically tricking the senses of the opponents. Making the target hear "voices" disorienting them, making them feel pain after nothing happened.
The severity of the illusions depend entirely on the ability to define real and fake. and even if a fake creation of their mind strangles them, they can be strangled.

Techniques:

Noxious mist - (1) [he has a limited supply of about 3 bottles ready]
Type: (Offensive/Defensive)[dependent on how it's used]
Range: 20 Meters
Effect: Kreydis throws a bottle of misty poison full of hallucinogens & Acid mist at a target location. Depending on the endurance of the person, the Hallucinogens can last from 1-5 posts
and the acid will inflict minor burns but nothing to damaging.
Empowers his Echo's skill, if they inhale the Hallucinogens in the bottle. making it harder for them to detect the real Kreydis.

Echo - (3) [takes 3 posts cool down as this is a strenuous skill]
Type: (Defensive/Supportive)
Range: (30 Meters)
Effect: Echos is a three part technique .
(within 30M) Any "enemy's" will see an after-image of the user's movements roughly a second after he's done it.
(within 15 Meters) Within 15 meters of the spells maximum range the Illusion begins to look more realistic, and they will begin to hear "voices" around them in all directions
(within 5M) Four more Illusion's appear in all places around the target.
-Very sharp senses can pierce through this ability's illusion. (and only lasts 3 posts)


Surging blades - (3) [1 post cooldown]
Type: (Offensive)
Range: Weapon range (blades only)
Effect: The user "controls" the illusions around him to some extent, timing the attacks of the illusions to create opening's and to disorient the target at the time. Although the Illusions can't inflict true physical harm, if they "hit" somewhere and the mind believes their weapons to real they might function as if they actually were stabbed in that location.
Limitations: Must be used in conjunction with Echo

Blossoms Flurry - (3) [1 post cooldown]
Type: (Offensive)
Range: ~50 Meters
Effect: Kreydis throws 3-all of his throwing knives at a single target. The knives are coated with a small paralyzing poison, or numbing at worst. The knives appear to be rose petals flying through the wind in the direction of the target, thus harmless until they strike. the areas they hit will vary but will mostly be centered at the torso or legs.
Limitations: Can only use this as long as he has throwing knives. They can be picked back up from a corpse.

I'm going to post this for now but I'll keep editing as we figure this out.


Last edited by B★RS on Sun Dec 04, 2011 2:30 pm; edited 11 times in total (Reason for editing : http://negimalostmagic.forumotion.net/t1297-kreydis-arona)
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TheWill
Admin
TheWill

Male Posts : 4808
Join date : 2010-01-25
Age : 28

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PostSubject: Re: Kreydis Arona   Kreydis Arona EmptyFri Dec 02, 2011 10:45 am

Daisuke, do this.
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Joseph

Joseph

Male Posts : 409
Join date : 2011-01-14
Age : 31

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PostSubject: Re: Kreydis Arona   Kreydis Arona EmptyFri Dec 02, 2011 1:29 pm

First things first, this should be in the Mage applications section, and not the Neutral Mages section(I made the same mistake when i joined) Once it gets approved then we will move it to the Neutral mages. So for now I will move it to the Mage applications sections.

As for you character in particular I'll check it out later, it's too early for me.
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Kreydis

Kreydis

Male Posts : 47
Join date : 2011-12-02
Age : 28
Location : Your Shadow

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PostSubject: Re: Kreydis Arona   Kreydis Arona EmptyFri Dec 02, 2011 3:28 pm

haha... that is a tiny bit of a mess up. anyways I'm not 100% finished but this is the rough version.
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Lyon

Lyon

Male Posts : 640
Join date : 2011-02-01
Age : 30
Location : Close to my computer

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PostSubject: Re: Kreydis Arona   Kreydis Arona EmptyFri Dec 02, 2011 8:20 pm

For starters, you might want to remove the sayings after Stats and Jewels ("[You have 45 SP to distribute among these statistics.]" and "(starting)") just to clean things up a little.

For Skills and Disciplines it seems a little messy for my liking.
Quote :
Skills & Disciplines:
Skills, Basic understanding of all swords, Preferred weapon is a curved dagger / SS.
Basic understanding of using bow's, and crossbows.
Basic understanding of first aid, cooking and repairing cloth armor and metal weapons.
Disciplines, (No idea what this could entail actually)
It would be easier to state it more like this:
Quote :
Skills & Disciplines:
Weapon Knowledge - Extensive knowledge of his weapons has given him a better understanding of how to use them
Sword Fighting - After spending time using swords, Kreydis has gained a better understanding of how to use them. He prefers to use curved swords.
Bow Training - Kreydis has spent time learning how to use bows and crossbows, making it easier to use them
Basic First Aid - Kreydis has basic first aid knowledge, making it easier for him to treat wounds

I'm not saying that these are the skills and disciplines you want but it's a better and cleaner way to state them.

Questions about you're abilities.

With Echo, can they still see you if you are in front of them? If not, at that level it should be the case. As for duration, we usually try to state things in terms of posts. At level 3 I would say that it would last roughly 2-3 posts depending on who it's used on.

With Noxious Gas, I'm being picky here but I don't really like the way you worded it. How does the fog work? Does it surround the target or is it all around the caster?
Also, what's the duration of the ability?

I see no problems with Surging Blades other than how you activate it.

The final thing is based off all of you're abilities. How long between using each ability does it take before you can use it again (cooldown). At these levels there has to be a cooldown with at least Echo and Noxious Gas and depending on how Surging Blades is used it might or might not require a cooldown.
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Lyon

Lyon

Male Posts : 640
Join date : 2011-02-01
Age : 30
Location : Close to my computer

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PostSubject: Re: Kreydis Arona   Kreydis Arona EmptySat Dec 03, 2011 2:05 am

All of my concerns seemed to be met.

1/2
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Joseph

Joseph

Male Posts : 409
Join date : 2011-01-14
Age : 31

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PostSubject: Re: Kreydis Arona   Kreydis Arona EmptySat Dec 03, 2011 2:14 am

All seems ok, except for the range of Blossoms Furry, 50 meters may be too much... but whatever.

2/2 Approval. This topic is now locked and you are free to RP with everyone now. Enjoy!!
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PostSubject: Re: Kreydis Arona   Kreydis Arona Empty

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